Social Media & Self-Concept

Recently I began wondering how much social media defines our worth and self-concept. This thought came about as I was looking at a friend's profile. He had been commenting on how successful he is in his job and the toys that he enjoys on the weekend. I remember looking at the friend's profile and instantly comparing myself to them. We're the same age. We're in the same field. Why am I not as successful as him? And on, and on, and on. Ugh! What a waste of energy. But even though I knew this to be a waste, I still couldn't help but use him as a measuring stick to my success.

Another way this came about was after having a conversation with a friend who had recently been "de-friended" by someone he doesn't like. He commented about how difficult it was for him to not feel rejected even though he didn't like this person and had no desire for a friendship. The deep wound of rejection had been hurt and his insecurities heightened.

So basically, I've just been wondering how much social media plays into how we define ourselves and whether or not social media adds to or detracts from our self-concept.

Thoughts About My Blog

I've been thinking lately about what the purpose of this blog is. When I started my private practice, I heard from other successful private practice clinicians that it's a good way to engage my clients as well as anybody who's interested in supporting my practice. While the idea of this was exciting, I soon learned that it's not my style. My first post was a reaction to a movie we watched and was easily written because it was a powerful movie. However, each time since that I've sat down to try and blog, I've gotten pretty frustrated. I've had some interesting topics that I want to talk about, but the thought of compiling them into coherent writing was overwhelming. I felt like I was back in school and had to research these topics and present the right information in order to keep people engaged. Not exactly what I want to spend my days doing!!

So, I've decided to take the pressure off myself. Instead of worrying about who's reading this and whether it's worth their time, I'm going to just post about the things I'm learning, the things I find interesting, and talk about various experiences I'm having. They may or may not be therapeutic in nature, but my hope is that they might be thought provoking to whoever reads them (if anyone actually does).

So, if you're reading this, I invite you to interact with me. If you read something that is particularly interesting or thought provoking, don't hesitate to comment on it. Don't worry about your comment sounding stupid or being over intellectual. There's no judgement from my end and screw anyone that's judging us!! I look forward to where these conversations may lead.

Creating Perspective

My wife and I just finished watching a documentary called "The Human Experience" (http://www.grassrootsfilms.com/thehumanexperience/), about a group of guys who travel to various destinations throughout the world in search of answers to questions like, "who am I?who is man? and why do we search for meaning?" Their experiences range from living among the homeless of New York City to visiting a leper colony in Africa. This film is powerful! The people they meet along the way are inspiring and show the resiliency of the human spirit, yet their stories are also heartbreaking in many ways.

As I watched this film I began thinking about how often our lack of perspective can keep us in a place of feeling depressed about my life and always looking inward at the things that we feel are deficits in our lives. What struck me as I watched the sick and handicapped kids in Peru and the lepers in Africa, was how grateful they were just to have life. Although in many ways it seems like they got the short end of the stick, I began to see more life in them than I think most people experience on a daily basis. This really reminded me of how fortunate I am, how much I take for granted, and made me think deeply about the issues I've struggled with in my life.

Anyway, without getting lost in my own experience of this movie, one of the main things I took away was how a change in perspective can really bring about lasting change in our lives. Whether it's traveling to a third-world country or just being with the less fortunate in our cities, I believe that we can achieve some lasting therapeutic change by stepping out of our comfortable bubbles and moving closer to people who seem to have less comfortable lives than us. We might even find that they are more comfortable and happier than we are!

I know that I experience much joy when serving others and feel that there is the potential that a change in our perspectives might also bring about a lasting change for the pathologies we all experience. So my challenge to you is this: if you're feeling down, sad, anxious, lonely, bored, fearful, etc., step out and seek out a place where you can regularly experience this life-giving change in perspective.

To find opportunities in Denver that might be a good place to gain these types of experiences, visit www.volunteermatch.org. Three places that are especially dear to my heart and places I believe provide strong reward and change in perspectives are:
- The Denver Rescue Mission (http://www.denverrescuemission.org/volunteer)
- Park Forest Care Center (http://www.parkforestcarecenter.com/index.html)
- Mean Street Ministry (http://www.meanstreetministry.org/)